The power of sexual uninvisibility


We asked Cindy Gallop, one of the world’s most visible business women, what she would do if she had the power of invisibility.

Cindy Gallop

“I have absolutely no desire to have the power of invisibility. I can’t think of any situation that I’d want to be invisible in. I’m showing up and being me in every scenario – I want to be there, present and visible and able to intervene.”

And she wants to intervene in our sex lives.

“I want older women to become sexually uninvisible.”

She believes that everything in life – and business – starts with you and your values. 

“I regularly ask people “what are your sexual values?” and no one can ever answer. We’re not taught to think like that. Our parents bring us up to have good manners, a work ethic, sense of responsibility, accountability. Nobody ever brings us up to behave well in bed. But, empathy – sensitivity – generosity – kindness – honesty – are as important as they are in every other area of our lives where we are actively taught to exercise those values.”

Cindy believes everyone should be looking into themselves and asking, ‘What do I believe in, value, stand for? What am I all about?’ And applying those values to your own sexuality and sexual relationships.”

Once we’ve worked it out Cindy wants us to shout it from the rooftops (or at least talk to partners, family, and friends). We should insist on good sexual values and behavior in our everyday lives and relationships. Especially when we’re so fucked up as a society about sex.

That’s why she started MakeLoveNotPorn – ‘Pro-sex. Pro-porn. Pro-knowing the difference.’ It’s the world’s first user-generated, human-curated social sex video sharing platform (what Facebook would be if Facebook allowed you to socially sexually self-express) and it’s designed to make it easier for every single one of us to talk about sex, openly and honestly, to improve all our lives. 

MakeLoveNotPorn came out of Cindy’s direct personal experience dating younger men, and finding that when we don’t talk about sex, porn becomes sex education by default – and not in a good way.

“At 59, I’m old enough to remember when it was enormously important to the men I slept with, that I came; that I came first; that I came at least once if not more often. If I didn’t come, nobody was going anywhere till I did. These days, I don’t come and no one remarks on it – and bear in mind, I date utterly lovely younger men, but only learning about sex from porn has conditioned them to think it’s all about them. I see them in bed unconsciously modelling the behavior that says, ‘My dick is the centre of the universe.”

Back in the day, Cindy’s pussy was a thing of total fascination because the men she slept with couldn’t believe they were actually there in bed with a real live one! They would spend hours down there just appreciating and exploring it. These days, boys have seen hundreds, nay, thousands of pussies in porn by the time they encounter their first real one, and that fascination is no longer there.

But Cindy doesn’t believe the issue is porn. She believes when we don’t talk about sex in the real world sex becomes an area of rampant insecurity for every one of us. We all want to be good in bed – but no one knows exactly what that means. And if the only cues you’ve ever seen are in porn, those are the ones you’ll take, to not very good effect.

She believes great sex, like everything in life and business comes from great communication.

So Cindy’s message to older women everywhere is:

Glory in your age. Glory in the sexual benefits:

Cindy’s message to younger men is:

“​If you want perky breasts and a tight ass, date girls your own age. If you want a blowjob technique that’s been refined and honed for as long as you’ve been alive, welcome aboard.”

If you’re single, she highly recommends sleeping with younger men. She’s never been told so often she’s beautiful and felt so appreciated in every respect.

And if you have a longterm partner, maybe it’s time to liven it up a bit and learn something new?

There are plenty of older MakeLoveNotPornStars with years of experience to inspire you.

Like the amazing ModestyAblaze and her invaluable travel tips.


Take out a subscription to, where you’ll find videos celebrating great #realworldsex at every age (watch them together with your loved one! – that’s why MakeLoveNotPorn is the Social Sex Revolution)